Published on July 24, 2025
Our default response to our students’ dysregulated (or very big) emotions tends to
be shutting it down (“Stop it,” “Calm down”), reassuring (“You’ll be fine”), requiring
communication (“Use your words”), or offering advice (“Just listen to me!”). Experienced
teachers know these strategies are ineffective – but often still try them anyway.
Imagine a train entering a long, deep tunnel. Would you worriedly watch the train
disappear into the dark and then use dynamite and diggers to make a hole in the top of
the mountain so you could drag that train out of the dark? Of course not. This approach
would simply make a mess. You don’t need to intervene. The train’s coming out of the
tunnel at the other end. That’s how it works. Emotions are the same (when they’re
functioning in healthy ways).
To help students regulate their emotions, try these ideas:
• Stay calm and balanced yourself.
• Use emotion-labelling tools (like an emotion chart) to connect and understand
each other better.
• Ask, “Do you want to talk, or do you prefer some space?”
• Encourage them to breathe (5 seconds in, hold for 5, and 5 seconds out).
• Get them active.
• Take them outside for some time in nature
• For younger children, invite them to draw their emotions. Distraction can help too.
Don’t try to fix everything until the emotion passes. Once it does, problem-solve
together. These emotions are normal and part of being human. Learning to regulate
them is a long process, even for adults.
Let’s